...that you had a little version of your right-minded self that could sit on your shoulder and whisper into your ear whenever you start to stray?
Yesterday, as I predicted I soon would, I ate a lot of food. It wasn't necessarily unhealthy food, but I just ate twice as much of it as I needed. I said in my previous post that I knew I wanted to do, and that I was prepared for the want to eat, eat, eat. And I was. I actually walked around the grocery store for about half an hour trying to make myself put down what I had specifically driven there to buy. But I didn't. Eventually I bolted to the check out line, not wanting to look weird leaving with nothing but desperate to get out of there. I ate what I had bought and immediately felt sick afterward. I went to lay down so the feeling (and a terrible headache I had) would go away and I realized that even though I failed to put the food down and walk away, I had a fight with myself about it. There was a voice in my head saying, put it down, your body doesn't need that, don't do that to yourself that has never been there before. I used to just eat a lot of food and then realize after that I had done it without thinking about it, but in the grocery store I was present in the moment. I was mindful of what I was doing. And that is progress.