I read that quote somewhere on the internet this week and it totally hit me. I'm talking like bag-full-of-bricks-to-my-brain hit me. I realized that this phrase perfectly encapsulates my currently-forgotten fitness goals...I had just never put it together that way. I really don't care how I look in clothes. I like having nice clothes and know how to dress myself well, so wanting to be smaller to fit into smaller sizes really hasn't mattered to me. I'm happy with the way I look...when I'm dressed. And that's part of the reason I never stuck to my fitness goals before - wearing smaller clothes has never been what I wanted, but what I always thought I wanted. It's usually what all overweight women want. But to look good naked...that's equivalent to the holy grail, the four-leaf clover, the star on my Tootsie pop wrapper, the twenty dollars I had forgotten was in my winter coat pocket. That's the thing I dream about at night because during the day I've been convinced it would never happen. I felt it was never possible for me. I honestly don't ever remember looking in the mirror with no clothes on and loving what I saw. Being in a happy, supportive relationship for 5 years has erased the shame I used to feel about my body, but I've never liked it. I felt that was never possible for me - I was a tubby toddler, a chunky child, and so on and so forth up to this day where I sit here at 213 pounds with a bag of pretzels open in front of me (it's like amateur hour over here...I know better!). But I know, logically, in all parts of my mind, that it is possible for me to be happy with my body when it's naked. It's possible for me to be happy, period, with no clothes on. I mean, how much would this improve my life, if I were glad to take my clothes off? How much better would I eat so I could maintain that happiness, how many more hours would I exercise so I could flaunt my birthday suit...how much more awesome would sexytime be if I weren't preoccupied with trying to keep my jiggly bits from flopping away in defiance? This is something that definitely has to happen, and with a little effort and planning I can make it happen. I've already got the gym membership, the rest is just work. I know what to do. And after all, you may not get what you wish for, but you will get what you work for.
So those are my thoughts for the day. Hopefully next time I post I'll be a little smaller, a little lighter, and little more willing to wear a little less clothing. On to what I've been up to this week!
Last weekend, my younger siblings came to visit me for four days. Their visit was amazing, fun, and refreshing. I have missed them so much. I was sad to see them leave...but very happy to have my apartment back.
Ahmagawd they're so cute!
I love this little dude so much.
We even got to spend a day with my grandparents, who drove up from Kentucky!
I've also made some pretty delicious things this week. For dinner a couple nights ago I made spiced yumminess: veggies stir fried with (mostly) Indian spices, salmon simmered in curry sauce, and brown rice.
Green pepper, red pepper, and a jalapeno. This is only about half of what I ended up cooking.
Carrots and a small red onion.
The spices I used: turmeric, cinnamon, cumin, ground coriander,
cayenne pepper, black pepper, garam masala powder. I just kind of threw a little bit of everything into the pan, and tasted and adjusted as I was cooking to get a flavor I liked.
Salmon filet. I usually buy frozen salmon filets from the store because they're relatively cheap and easy to store until I'm ready to use them.
I am totally in love with the Seeds of Change line of products. They're all amazing, and I loved this Madras sauce especially. It wasn't blisteringly spicy, but had just enough kick to jazz up my dinner.
My spiced veggies in the pan.
I sauteed my salmon in some olive oil with black pepper and a little salt before simmering in the Madras sauce until the veggies were done cooking.
My plate. I also made two servings of brown rice, and ended up taking half of the salmon off this plate to save with the other leftovers for lunch at work the next day. This was AMAZING. Didn't take that long, but I did manage to make almost every pan in my kitchen dirty. Go me.
This morning I wanted some greek yogurt, but I don't like eating it straight without honey and I'm out, so I decided to make pancakes! I used this Greek Yogurt Pancake recipe from Everyday Belle blog. It came out great, and I added a few things to make it what I wanted.
1/2 C of flour. When using all-purpose, I prefer unbleached.
1 tsp of baking soda. I also use baking soda and apple cider vinegar to
wash my hair these days...but that's another post.
6 oz. greek yogurt. I used plain, 0% because that's what I had but you can use whatever you've got. Also, this Omicca kitchen scale is the best thing that ever happened to me. 15 bucks on Amazon, it's easy to store because it's small but it can weigh out a lot. It does g, kg, oz, and lb, plus it has a tare function. I got it for Christmas a couple years ago. Awesome.
1 egg white!
I mixed the flour and baking soda in my orange bowl, and mixed the egg white with the
yogurt in my glass bowl, and then mixed the two together.
The batter is very thick!
I added some vanilla and cinnamon.
I like making silver dollar pancakes, because then I get to eat more of them, and more is always better...right? I found I had to spread these around to flatten them out so the middles would cook without the outsides burning. I ended up adding blueberries to the batter after this. My heat was halfway between medium and medium-high...so medium-medium-high? I used cooking spray.
Finished product! I ended up with six little pancakes. There are only four in this picture because I was still cooking one when I took this...and I ate one. Couldn't resist!
I had two more during breakfast with a bit of butter and a splash of syrup. I usually eat my pancakes with honey, but I was out. I'm sure the rest of these tasties will be gone by the end of the day...or more likely the end of the hour.
Pancake pro tips: Don't overmix the batter. Little lumps are fine. Turn them as soon as the edges begin to firm up and you see a few bubbles appear. When you flip them, think of turning the bottom of the spatula away as opposed to turning the top over - this way you use less force and don't end up splattering the uncooked batter all over the pan and ruining your pancake! The second side needs about half the time of the first side to cook all the way. I like my pancakes a little underdone in the middle...leave it on longer if you like them toastier!
Pancakes are one of my most favorite things in the world. I have fond memories of making pancakes with my dad when I was a little girl after my parents were divorced. I used to hover over the griddle, spatula at the ready to attack as soon as the bubbles popped up. I ruined many a pancake for him...but he always ate them anyway. I think about him every time I mix up some pancake batter.
Well, that's all I've got for now. I'll be back soon...until then, go make some tasties!