1,000 awesome points to anybody who gets my not-so-subtle reference to one of my most favorite movies ever!
Anyway. I got some very helpful comments from Christie, Candy, and Erin on my post yesterday. Thanks, ladies. You have no idea how helpful you are. : )
So, as per Christie's advice, I'm going to pretend I'm talking to my best friend when I talk about the way I perceive my body. I know I would NEVER point out the kinds of things I discussed yesterday if I were talking to my best friend, Bonnie. Bonnie is a gorgeous, hilarious, warm-hearted woman - telling her what's "wrong" with her body would be pointless. She's AWESOME, so who gives a shit? Well, I'm awesome, too, so who gives a shit about my crappy skin? Nobody but me, apparently, so I won't worry about it either. It's not like I'm running up and down the street naked anyway.
Instead of listing all the things I don't like about me, I'm going to list ten things I DO like about me. This list could honestly probably be expanded to 20, or even 30, things if we weren't just talking about my body. I do generally think I'm a pretty amazing person, which is why I get so upset when my outside doesn't match my inside, so to speak. But, with no further ado, here are the 10 things I like about me:
1. My eyes. I think my eyes are really beautiful (and it kinda sucks I have to hide them behind glasses all day, but I do hate wearing contacts). They change color depending on what I'm wearing, going from kind of a flat grey to vibrant blue on the outside and light green in the middle. I lovelovelove them.
2. My hair. Although I do hate the way it looks right now because my style is far too grown out and I can't get it cut for awhile, it's still gorgeous. Very fine, yet thick enough that I can wear a lot of different styles. And it's naturally blonde, which is awesome. It gets a bit sandier in the winter and gets much much lighter in the summer, so it always looks a little different. It does grow painfully slow, but that's okay. I love it anyway. : )
3. My shoulders. I've always thought I have nice, feminine shoulders. Not too broad or too narrow, they balance my wide hips nicely. I've got a bunch of sun freckles on top of them, which I think are really cute. I think I look great in halter tops/dresses/swimsuits.
4. My boobs. Yes, they're large (D-DD), and yes, they do get in the way and cause problems. But I'd still have big-and-slightly-annoying boobs than no boobs at all. I guess I'm just used to them, but it's nice to feel so womanly, especially since I don't dress very femininely at all.
5. My figure. This is kind of a shoulder-boob-hip combo, but I do have a lovely hourglass figure. And it kind of makes up for not having any ass to speak of. I was very happy when the belted shit/jacket/dress trend showed up. I was like, "Finally, something that looks good on me!". Happy day.
6. My legs. Chunky thighs aside, I've got some pretty nice gams. They look great in heels (although heels hurt my ankles super bad so I never wear them) and shorter dresses (although I never wear those either due to chunky thigh syndrome). I remember I once showed up at my boyfriend's house in a skirt and his dog immediately started jumping all over me and his mom was like, "Get down, she's got hose on!" But I didn't. I've never worn hose, and his mom was shocked.
7. My hands. Although I wear my nails short and never paint them, I still feel like I have nice, feminine hands. My fingers are pretty long, I have thin wrists, and they're not too big. I'm very happy with them.
8. My nose. Some people have largish noses, or pointy ones, or strangely upturned ones. I think my nose is perfect for my face, and it carries my nose piercing really well.
9. (Oh no, I think I've run out of things...) AH. My lower back. You know those dimples that really fit people have when they've worked hard on building their lower back muscles? I naturally have those, and I think they're kind of sexy.
10. My overall proportions. This one might be cheating since it's not specific, but I think in general my body is well-proportioned and that even though I'm overweight I carry it pretty well. Whenever people guess my weight, they unfailingly put me around 180. I get some hilariously shocked faces when I tell people I weigh over 200 pounds.
I don't know if I've ever sat down and really thought about the physical aspects of myself that I love. This has been a lot of fun and quite enlightening. Looking over the list, I'd have to say that all of those beautiful, feminine, lovely things definitely outweigh having bad skin. And as far as being afraid of no guy wanting to be with me...if he can't look past my skin to see at least those ten things above, then he obviously isn't worth my time. I'm glad I've finally realized that.
I feel a lot better about things today. Not only about myself after completing that list, but about life in general. I found a very cute, very cheap apartment for next year that I'm going to sublease from a good friend ($390/month, stress-free deal, gotta love it). I have an interview on Sunday for a job in a town close by. And even if I don't get that job, I know I'll find one in August when the student population comes back after summer is up. And until then, I'll be okay.
Today is a good day. And I think I'll go get some exercise to make it even better.
Adios. : )